Yes Really  How to stop any…

“Yes, Really:” How to stop any argument in its tracks:

Fights happen in all relationships and they are a completely healthy occurrence. But are you engaging in them in a way that might be doing long-term damage to your partnership? And what if you knew how to swiftly and accurately defuse any fight from escalating? Well, wouldn’t that just be nifty! I’ll tell you how in a second. But first, we have to understand what we’re working with here.

Some pretty good advice. So is this book on parent-teen relationships by Gary Smalley. He’s got great insight on how we push each others’ buttons without realizing it. Or more importantly, how we can stop.

Another corner to “shine your flashlight” is what’s going on in your own heads vis a vis how you grew up. The Missus and I found that many of our arguments were not being driven by each other, but by sore spots that remained from issues we had with our parents. Or being stuck reacting to your spouse the same way your parents did, rather than realizing you are a different couple.

A good counselor can help you unpack those things. Unfortunately, may folks are too busy trying to get their spouse to unpack their problems rather than dealing with their own.