Happy Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Father’s Fther’s Day:

Anita Sullivan has just become the first woman in recorded history to conceive children with more than thirteen different men.

“I’m extremely proud to have broken a World Record,” Ms. Sullivan told reporters. “My mother always told me that I was lazy and worthless, and that I would never accomplish anything in my life. Now, I’ve shown everyone that she was wrong, and that I can even be the best in the world when I put my mind to something. In fact, I’ve just accomplished something that no one had done before!”

Anita Sullivan says she’s been unlucky with relationships in the past, but she believes that this time she may have found the man of her life.

Congratulations. Each father should now quietly collect his kid and move on. Plenty of evidence that she can have them. No evidence that she can properly raise them.

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