This week Lori Alexander of Always Learning had a Facebook post go viral with a cacophony of feminist clucking. In the post Lori suggested that wives not focus on the amount of housework their husbands did, but instead:
…do your housework cheerfully, as unto the Lord. Remember, you didn’t marry your husband to help with the household chores. You married him to be your protector and provider. You also should have married him because you deeply loved him, wanted to be a great help meet to him…
This outstanding post predictably drove feminists mad, and the criticism from feminists lead Lori’s husband Ken to write his own post. Ken explained that godly husbands should do housework, but that if a husband is sinning in this way his wife should just do the housework cheerfully anyway. Lori’s focus was on the toxicity of feminist resentment. Ken agrees that wives should fight against the resentment, but also shifted the focus towards the sinful husbands he contends are (generally) the reason wives feel this resentment in the first place (emphasis mine):
The reason it struck such a viral cord is twofold: First because it did not fit with the progressive women’s agenda that a wife married to a husband unwilling to meet her expectations should just take the high road and love him anyway. Second, because this is one of the hottest sources of frustration for most wives in the modern world.
In the discussion Ken does leave open the possibility that an individual husband might not be sinning if his wife feels this resentment, but his general thrust in both the post and in the discussion is for the husband to do more of whatever work his wife identifies as the source of her resentment.
What Ken has misunderstood is the true source of the resentment. The resentment does not come from an excess of work or an unfair distribution of work, but envy of men. This is why women who haven’t overcome this envy will complain bitterly no matter how much better they have it than their husbands. He may be doing dirty, backbreaking, dangerous work, but he isn’t stuck being a woman like she is. It isn’t the work, but what the work represents to her. The problem is that the work reminds her that she is a woman.
Read the whole thing.