21st Century Parenting How about a parenting prenup…
21st Century Parenting: How about a parenting prenup?
I didn’t plan to get pregnant. I was 33. My daughter’s father and I were not together. It was, seemingly, not the best situation. Except that it really was.
Having a child – our child – with him, in exactly that way, has led to a fabulous life, a brilliant co-parenting situation and more love than I could have ever imagined.
What made it that way was a choice by both of us to imagine a positive future. We created a document that turned our vision into a template, a contract and a philosophy for how to live – our co-parenting agreement. It’s a parenting prenup.
My daughter Cecilia is now six years old and has the best of all worlds. Her dad and I live three blocks apart, by design. We are friends. And more importantly, we are good co-parents.
We spent four-and-a-half months creating an agreement. While I was pregnant, in addition to our regular jobs, we worked together to create a 16-page legal and philosophical agreement about how to raise our daughter together.
The document outlines custody and residential schedule, and also covers every other aspect of parenting and our daughter’s life: education, joint parenting decisions, travel, communication, living abroad. We outline how we share a calendar of events and make rules. We agree on an approach to spiritual upbringing. We even covered her gap year after high school.
It was originally his idea. It took a lot of work. And it is brilliant.
Seems like an awfully good idea these days, sadly.