Need a good reason today to make your marriage stronger? Heeeere ya go.
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Moments before our walk that afternoon,
I realized the path ended too soon.
Not long enough to hold his hand,
this amazing person, this loving man.
Not long enough to engage his eyes
and remember his always brimming with pride.
Not long enough to stand by his side,
as he was by mine after every rough tide.
Not long enough to laugh with him still,
after every bad joke,
after every tough hill.
Not long enough to walk with this man,
who has taught me to be the person I am.
Not long enough as we walked by his wife,
to thank them both for my wonderful life.
In all the walks I’ve taken in my life,
first as a girl and now as a wife,
I’ll remember that walk I took with my father
and always wish it could have been longer.
— via Family Friend Poems
Countless volumes have been written on the causes, the outcomes, the historical accuracy and the characters of the Trojan War. Scholars have argued for 30 centuries about the themes that Homer wrote about – is the poem about love (Paris’ tragic love for Helen), about war (the greatest armies ever assembled), about pride (Agamemnon and Achilles falling out) or is it about the Gods themselves. Well, watching the film and remembering the book I think they’re all wrong. The Illiad is about fatherhood.
Why? Because Homer himself tells us.
Yep. Fatherhood is the original love.
I wanted to ask my dad his thoughts on why a person might fall into a victim mentality way of thinking, we’ve both seen horrible things happen in our family and even in our own circumstances, but even in facing certain horrible life situations where we both at that time, were a victims, neither of us have fallen into victimization. My dad emits a usually positive and joyful attitude, he has his faults too of course, but overall he takes life’s phases and trials with a grain of salt.
He also has a progressive bone disease that he found out about when I was 9 called osteoporosis, where he has to be extremely careful – any slip or minor fall could end him up in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. His attitude in the midst of this is choosing positivity. Aside from avoiding truly dangerous situations (water parks), he doesn’t let this hold him back. He goes to our beautiful downtown riverwalk and power walks super fast – enjoying the beautiful view and the broken and diseased body that he can still do many things with. His walking efforts have even paid off, his bone density has actually increased (which is something not usually seen with osteoporosis). Its amazing what the mind can achieve over the body when it truly embraces the joy of being alive, and of understanding that we have more control over how we decide to live than we would think to imagine.
Love, even loving life, is a choice.
The approval a son receives from his mother is almost guaranteed while that of his father must usually be earned. And the boy desperately wants it. Should there by any surprise that a boy will ultimately try to leave the shade of his mother for the shadow of his father? And if no male is there he will find what he believes is a suitable replacement even though that choice may produce the worst possible outcomes. There comes a time with the boy is inexplicably drawn towards the company of other men – because he wants their approval.
Much like my father I find it hard to give what I never completely received. Yet through my own story, I have become keenly aware of the power my approval and acceptance will have on my children’s futures. My childhood has also made me conscious that my approval should never be solely tied to a game won, grade made, or chore completed. In my mind, if I’m showing appreciation and acceptance for my children only when they do something worthy – I’m better off showing nothing at all.
If I hope to instill in them feelings of confidence that their fathers approves of them no matter I must become conscious of the small ordinary moments in their lives and not just the big game or dance recital. Those times when, if parents aren’t looking, pass by without a second glance. In other words I must show them I accept and approve of them for who they are – that eight-year-old boy who fights dragons, jumps on the furniture, and can’t seem to stop annoying his sister and the ten-year-old daughter who is addicted to tween-aged fantasies, daydreaming, and creating a train wreck in her room – and not just when they score the winning basket or get straight A’s.
Some of my greatest life lessons have come as a consequence of my most significant life challenges. I don’t condemn or hold my father responsible for what he couldn’t give me, in fact, I appreciate what he did – because he showed me the importance of a father’s approval.
Father wounds are the deepest because the Father’s Love is the oldest.
12 Things Your Partner Needs To Hear More Often. I ran this list by Mrs. B this morning. She (a) liked it, and (b) though I had most of ’em covered. So there!