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  • honordads 8:01 am on 04/23/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity   

    #WhosYourDaddy: Dad Has Rights After Turkey-Baster Pregnancy, Court Rules.

    After several visits from Boardwine in June 2010, Bruce learned the next month that she was pregnant.

    Everything went well for a while, with Boardwine visiting and bringing a stuffed bear and baby clothes. But their expectations for the future were different. Bruce testified in the lower court that she wanted Boardwine to be only as involved as her other friends. He envisioned a more active role — attendance at the boy’s sporting events someday, and a voice in major decisions.

    The relationship soured when Bruce rejected Boardwine’s suggested name for the child. They didn’t speak for about five months, until the boy was born and Boardwine showed up at the hospital. Later visits to Bruce’s home were “sort of strained,” the woman said, and she eventually told Boardwine to stay away.

    That’s when the father went to court.

    I’m surprised she hasn’t gone after him for child support yet.

     
  • honordads 8:53 am on 03/12/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , , foster care, New York, paternity   

    Civil rights update: New York Adoption Industry Grabs a Father’s Twins

    The point being that New York places a good many obstacles in the path of an unmarried father on his way to being (or trying to be) a father to his child. Many of those obstacles are strategically hidden by the state. Does he know about the putative father registry? How much child support is enough? Is he able to pay any at all? How often must he visit with the child? For the most part New York is content to let unmarried fathers guess at what’s required and let them know after the fact whether or not they guessed correctly. In the balance hangs their rights to parent their children and their children’s rights to a relationship with their fathers.

    And of course all of this is in the service of the most dubious of goals – forcing adoption on a child who may well not need it. In the process, the state denies adoptive parents to a child who has neither a father and nor a mother strongly desiring to care for it.

    The State of New York, having opted for foster care over foster care might consider the statistics on how children do in each. On average, children placed in foster care do significantly worse than in even moderately abusive households with biological parents. But states tend to ignore matters like the increased levels of physical abuse, sexual abuse, drug abuse, emotional abuse and neglect suffered by children in foster care and their resulting emotional, psychological and educational problems.

    That may be because the federal government pays well for children adopted out of foster care. Depending on whether Mr. J.’s twins were classified as special needs children or not, they were worth between $10,000 and $22,000 in federal largess to the state. That too is something not mentioned by either the article of the court, but it’s scarcely irrelevant.

    But the state isn’t the only one to get paid. Whoever the foster mother will too. Here’s a piece I wrote last fall about the gravy train that is adoption in New York State. The foster mother who got Keith J.’s kids will receive subsidies from the city, state and federal governments for adopting them, and we’re not talking about chicken feed. She may get as much as $1,700 per month per child. And the kicker? She doesn’t even have to keep the children. Oh, she’s supposed to, but many “adoptive parents” simply place the kids in foster care and continue receiving the money.

    In “Best interest of the child” vs the State – the kids always lose. 

     
  • honordads 1:32 pm on 01/30/2015 Permalink
    Tags: paternity, sperm donation   

    The right to know: German supreme court grants children the right to know the identity of their sperm donor.

     
  • honordads 8:09 am on 01/21/2015 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity,   

    Finding a son, 60 years later: (video here)

    An 81-year-old Grand Rapids man has found out that he has a son.

    The man had tried having kids all his life but thought it was a life goal he never accomplished. But a letter sent by the child’s mother more than 50 years ago told him of his then 5-year-old son. That man is now 61.

    It was a message believed to have been hidden by his wife for decades. Tony Trapani, 81, said that after his wife passed away, he was cleaning out one of her old filing cabinets when he came across the letter.

    Father and son only met for the first time Sunday, and Trapani said he feels like a new dad. Samuel Childress, meeting he father for the first time, said he spend his life wondering. “I always asked my mom, I said, ‘Well what does he look like?’ She said, ‘Well, go look in the mirror.’”

    The letter sent by Samuel’s mother back in 1959 is postage stamped on that date. “I have a little boy,” it reads. “He is five years old now. What I’m trying to say Tony is he is your son. He was born November 14th, 1953.” Childress’s his mother told him that she had sent the letter but figured his father was ignoring him, he said.

    Here’s where the story takes a drastic turn. Trapani claims that his wife at the time intercepted the letter and hid it in a filing cabinet for decades while the couple couldn’t conceive a child on their own.

    “Why my wife didn’t tell me,” said Trapani. “I don’t know. She wanted children. She couldn’t have any. She tried and tried.” “He’s my full son that I’ve had my whole life, but why my wife hid that letter is beyond me.”

    Growing up, Childress said, it was his understanding that his father got the letter but didn’t want anything to do with him. He grew up in Pennsylvania, with meeting his father was just a distant thought.

    “Just to know him now is so important to me. It’s going to fill that void,” he said.

    Father and son are now catching up on a lifetime of memories, making the most out of the time they have left, knowing they can’t go back in time or dwell on the secret that kept them apart for so long,

    The family is also planning to have a paternity test done just to be 100 percent sure.

     
  • honordads 9:25 am on 12/30/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , kidnapping, , paternity   

    New York father returns to the US after trying and failing for 18 months to rescue the two sons kidnapped by his wife from Uruguay… but vows ‘I won’t give up’

     
  • honordads 9:31 am on 10/10/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , paternity,   

    First Things: The New Focus on Children’s Rights

    What do donor conception, surrogacy, divorce, and adoption have in common? According to the newly-founded International Children’s Rights Institute (ICRI), they are all practices which violate the rights of children to be born free, to be raised by his or her biological parents wherever possible, and to have a knowledge of the heritage of his or her biological parents. Dubbed “Bonds that Matter” for its focus on these beginning-of-life issues, the ICRI’s inaugural conference gathered scholars, activists, and students from around the country to Simi Valley, California last Friday to discuss the various ways in which these four practices violate children’s rights.

    First to speak was Alana Newman, founder of Anonymous Us and speaker on behalf of the many donor-conceived children and adults who, like herself, believe that their lives have been permanently affected for the worse by having been cut off from at least one biological parent. Beginning with her own personal testimony, Newman recounted the behavioral problems that she experienced after realizing that her biological father was paid for his promise to stay out of her life. Newman pointed out that not only do many donor-conceived adults suffer from feelings of worthlessness, grief, and shame, but all of them have no information about half, or all, of their genetic background.

    Donor conception can create societal problems, explained Newman. For example, the American Society of Reproductive Medicine recommends (note: These numbers are not based on law, the reality could be much worse) a limit of twenty-five children per donor per population of 800,000. If you do the math, this means that within New York City, one person could have 258 offspring, so the son of such a donor could easily have over a hundred sisters in the same area. The result is that people may unknowingly engage in incest and have consanguineous children, the first of which is prohibited in all fifty states and the second of which may produce unhealthy children.

    It happens. Saw an episode of Paternity Court last month where a married couple had to subject themselves to DNA testing to make sure they weren’t related. They weren’t, thankfully.

     
  • honordads 12:24 pm on 08/19/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity,   

    HuffPo: 16 Dads, 16 Different Paternity Leaves. Ultimately, your relationship with your boss and reputation at work will have the biggest affect on leave requests.

     
  • honordads 10:22 am on 08/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , paternity, , , ,   

    JudgyBitch: 5 Legal Rights Women Have That Men Don’t. The comment threads on her posts are always interesting.

     
  • honordads 10:11 am on 08/12/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , paternity, ,   

    Civil rights activism update:

    New Fathers 4 Justice want nothing less than a legal presumption of 50/50 contact for a child with their parents if they split up, and the abolition of the deeply controversial, undemocratic secret court system that still exists within the ‘family’ division despite forty years of inequality and protest.

    Such a well-padded protest, though. They’d get more attention to their cause this way.

     
  • honordads 8:35 am on 08/11/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , paternity,   

    John Edward Gill: My Child is Missing Again

    At ten a. m. Monday morning the phone rang. It was Roberta Berger, one of Estelle’s closest friends.

    “John, I want you to know Margie is fine.”

    “Where is she?”

    “I can’t tell you. But she’s fine.” (More …)

     
  • honordads 9:19 am on 08/04/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , paternity   

    4 Ways my paternity leave shaped me as a father and strengthened my family.

     
  • honordads 7:57 am on 08/04/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , , paternity,   

    NHS to fund sperm bank for lesbians: A new generation of fatherless families

    Heterosexual couples will also be able to benefit, but the move – funded by the Department of Health – is largely designed to meet the increasing demand from thousands of women who want to start a family without having a relationship with a man. Critics last night called it a ‘dangerous social experiment’ that could result in hundreds of fatherless ‘designer families’. The former Bishop of Rochester, Michael Nazir-Ali, said last night: ‘It is the welfare of the child that must come first and not the fact that people want a particular kind of baby.’ 

    Bishop Michael, who once chaired the ethics committee of Britain’s fertility watchdog, added: ‘This is social experimentation. It’s one thing for a child not to have a mother or father through tragedy, but it is another to plan children to come into the world without a father.’

    More:

    Ms Witjens rejected suggestions that children suffer adverse consequences from lacking a father figure. ‘There is no evidence to suggest that children are better off with or without a father,’ she said.

    Hey, Ms. Witjens – Google much? Makes me wonder how she got along with her dad…

     
  • honordads 9:32 am on 07/30/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity   

    Why Swedish men take so much paternity leave.

     
  • honordads 9:50 am on 07/28/2014 Permalink
    Tags: paternity,   

    Perhaps some day paternity will be seen as a human right, and not just when money is involved

     
  • honordads 8:42 am on 07/18/2014 Permalink
    Tags: bipolar, paternity   

    My story about getting full custody of my daughter.

    I met my ex-wife my lasy [sic] year of University. I was finishing up my B.A. in social work, and she was in her second year studying women’s studies. Should have been a red flag but I didn’t know much about that type of stuff.

    Plenty to learn from his decisions.

     
  • honordads 1:46 pm on 07/17/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity,   

    Daughter meets Dad for the first time at 40.

    I have a little girl inside of me that has been crying for a very long time, and so I’m very happy…

    Naw, nothing to the idea of father/daughter bonds at all.

     
  • honordads 2:15 pm on 07/11/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity   

    WSJ Blog: New dads more likely to take paternity leave if paid time is offered. …women and children hardest hit.

     
  • honordads 1:32 pm on 07/11/2014 Permalink
    Tags: paternity,   

    Who’s your daddy? Paternity identification using facial recognition technology. The potential use by curious fathers is interesting…

    UPDATE: From the comments: “That could also be a bad thing. Easily take some photos and find out if your wife cheated on you? Ouch!” Is that a bug or a feature?

     
  • honordads 12:25 pm on 07/10/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , , paternity   

    This is CNN: When is ‘Daddy’ more than DNA?

     
  • honordads 12:33 am on 07/10/2014 Permalink
    Tags: , paternity   

    Who’s your daddy? Dr. Helen’s second day at the International Conference on Men’s Issues.  Maybe someday we’ll take paternity fraud as seriously as Maury.

    UPDATE: Given the enormous impact on black fatherhood, that this discussion is happening in Detroit says a lot.

     
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